


Letters from R.A.B

by Trash_Lord



Series: Regulus Black [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bullying, I will update the tags as I go, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Its currently vauge but will become less so, Letters, Really Short Chapters, Some talk of war, Suicidal Thoughts, Tattoos, just a bit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-25 10:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12033687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash_Lord/pseuds/Trash_Lord
Summary: When Sirius and Regulus were little they told eachother everything. When Sirius left Regulus wrote letter as if talking to him. These are those letters





	1. June 1st 1976

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters nor am I making money off of them. 
> 
> The currently plan is to write from the end of his fourth year to his death. I might follow this up with one after his death to Sirius's death. It will depend on if people actually want to read it.   
> My work 'Regulus Black adds some context to this so you may want to read that as well.

Hey Sirius,  
You left today. Just packed a bag and left. I wish I could be mad at you. But I know you'll be so much safer with James and his family. It'll be my first summer without you. Three months until I see you again. I don't think I'll be able to talk to you. Mother would find out somehow and she's already burned you from the family tree. I couldn't face the consequences. I wish I was strong and brave like you. I wish I could be free like you. But I suppose it's better one than none. I'll miss you Sirius. I love you.   
-  
R.A.B


	2. August 17th 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't have a confirmed birthday so I made him a leo since his name is Regulus and just chose a date

Hey Sirius,  
It's my birthday. I don't think anyone even remembered besides Kreacher. He made me a small cake.   
I snuck out into the muggle world and got a tattoo. It's small and on my hip where no will see it. I don't think the tattoo artist really believed me when I told him I was eighteen. But I told him that I wanted the constellation Sirius to honor my dearly departed brother and he didn't ask anymore questions.   
You're not dead, of course, but I still got it to honor you.   
I miss you. I love you.   
-  
R.A.B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! -Damien


	3. August 25th 1976

Hello again Sirius,   
Summer is almost over and it looks like I'll be going back to school injured. I can't reach the wound to heal it. I stepped out of line again and reminded her she had two sons. Her severing charms* are always vicious. I shouldn't have turned my back on her. I should have known better.  
Anyway, I hope your summer went better than mine. I'm sure the potters loved having you there. Have you eaten them out of house and home yet?   
I'll see you soon. I miss you. I love you.   
-  
R.A.B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *a cutting curse. It juat cit through clothing and skin.   
> \- Damien.


	4. September 1st 1976

Hey Sirius,  
I start my 5th year today. I almost sat with you on the train. I saw you laughing with James and Remus (where was Peter?) And all i wanted to do was come in there and joke with you.   
You glared at me during the feast today. I wish I could honestly say that I don't know why. I'm sorry I'm not brave like you. We can be brothers again someday, I promise. You'll see. I miss you. I love you.   
-  
R.A.B


	5. October 31st 1976

Hey Sirius,  
It was a big day today. It was Halloween for one. You always did love that holiday. I also talked to you today! That's reason number two Although you only talked to me because I looked like I'd been kicked by a hippogriff. So that's reason number three, I got my ass kicked today.   
A Ravenclaw in my year cornered my after charms and stuck me to a wall before him and some of his fellow Ravenclaws took turns beating me. That said that I was scum for being a deatheater-to-be. They're not wrong, and I know you think the same.   
But apparently you still care about me! Scum or not. You and James both. The two of you found me not long after and helped me to the hospital wing. You seemed really mad that I was hurt and made me give you the names of who did it. It gives me hope that we really will be brothers again someday.   
I love you.  
-  
R.A.B


	6. November 3rd 1976

Happy Birthday Sirius!  
I sent you an unsigned box of chocolate frogs. I know it's not much but it's all I could get without raising suspicion. I hope you know that they're from me. Happy 17th brother! How does it feel to be an adult? I miss you. I love you.   
-  
R.A.B


	7. November 7th 1976

Hey Sirius,  
It's been a week since those Ravenclaws beat me up. I haven't spoken to you since but everytime I see them they've got strange hair or they're stuck to the floor, as if their shoes are glued down. I wish I could thank you in person but here will have to do for now. You're still the best brother I could ever hope for. I miss you, I love you.   
-  
R.A.B


	8. November 25th 1976

Sirius,  
A Gryffindor in my year told me 'if you're going to use dark magic, then you should just AK yourself' today. I hate how appealing that sounds. I could just go up to the astronomy tower to study and 'accidentally' fall off. No one would ever know. I'd be free. 

I don't think I'm brave enough to actually go through with that though. Too weak to fight back. Too weak to free myself. It's no wonder you left me. I wouldn't want a brother like me either.   
-  
R.A.B


	9. November 26th 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He used to be close with the Marauders so I'm going with he knee that Remus is a werewolf.

Hey Sirius,  
I hurt myself last night and talked to Remus today. I wonder if he told you.  
He found me in the library and said that I smelled like too much blood for it to have been and accident and also that I'm a terrible liar. Only when it comes to you and your friends Sirius.  
I honestly didn't mean to. But I was cleaning my potions knife last night and it slipped and cut my hand. Suddenly it was like my head was clear. I wasn't thinking about the astronomy tower or the dark lord or our parents anymore. But it didn't last. So I did it again on my wrist. And again. And again. Anyway you get the point. I wish I could say in ashamed. Remus told me not do it again but I don't think I'll listen to him. It's not like it matters. No one cares about me.  
-  
R.A.B


	10. December 1st 1976

Sirius,  
I guess Remus didn't talk to you. Or if he did you haven't said anything. It's for the best. 

Anyway, Christmas hols are coming up. I bet you're excited! You've been talking about Christmas at the Potters for ages. I hope it's a good as you imagine. You know what Christmas is like for us so I won't talk about it here. 

I wish you were going to be with me. 

I think I'll send you more candy.   
I wish I could do better. I wish I could be a better brother.   
I love you. I miss you. 

-  
R.A.B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Damien


	11. December 15th 1976

Sirius,  
Five days until Christmas break. 

Remus keeps giving me strange looks in the hallway, it's not hard to figure out why. I can't seem to get you to look at me anymore. 

I know I need to stop dwelling this. On you. Things are going to get complicated soon. I can feel it. Somethings coming. There are whispers and rumors. I wonder if they've reached you yet. I fear for all of our futures. I wish I was either braver or missed you less. Everything would be easier. 

-  
R.A.B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't decide if I want to do one during Christmas break or just skip to January.   
> \- Damien


	12. January 3rd 1977

Sirius,  
It's been a while. I'm sorry.   
I heard terrible things over Christmas. I don't think I should write them here. I don't think I can. But I'm terrified Sirius. They talk of a war. They talk of another dark lord. 

I told you that I'd thought of death but not like this. I don't want to battle you but I fear that neither of us will have a choice. 

Mother and aunt Belatrix have heard his ideals. I don't think I want to. I think I'll have to. 

Help me Sirius. Please. Look at me. Talk to me. I'll tell you everything. Please i don't want to die. I don't want to kill. 

-  
R.A.B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ? Have no awnsers. He's 15 and very afraid.   
> \- Damien


	13. January 7th 1977

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some talk of self harm in this one

Sirius,  
Perhaps I over reacted in my last letter. Perhaps I didn't. We'll find out soon I think. 

You seem happier than I've ever seen you. I'm so glad to see that, especially after last year's fiasco. You've relaxes so much. I guess I never realized how bad our house was for you. Or how much you needed a real family. I'm sorry I didn't. 

Perhaps you don't need me as a brother. You have James. He's kinder than I am. Will you thank him for me? For being who I can't be. 

Remus talked to me again in the library today. I don't know why he cares if I'm hurting myself. It's not his business. I really hope he's not bothering you with his concerns. It's nothing. 

-  
R.A.B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Damien


	14. January 23rd 1977

Sirius,  
Why do you insist on targeting the slytherins? I get that you have personal strife with Snape but the ones in my year have done nothing. They won't go to the hospital wing if they end up injured in the process of your pranking. Did you know that? I hope you don't. 

They don't question why I know the healing spells. 

I wonder what you'd think if it was a group of slytherins targeting everyone else? They'd be branded evil. Do you understand that? I think that's why there's so many rumors among us about the upcoming war. Everyone expects us to be apart of it. To be apart of the 'evil' side. I don't want to, I know I'm not the only one. But we can't speak out about it, we'd be shamed, attacked. Dishonored. 

I've had a lot of time to think lately. I think instead of sleep. I have nightmares. Of what I fear our future will be like. I think about what causes dark lords. But I can't properly make assumptions when I don't know anything about him. At this point all I know is that he's real. He's real and he is terrifying. 

I think he's already started collecting followers. Students. I can imagine why he'd want seventeen year olds to be apart of his army. Maybe they're just fodder. Pawns to be cut down while he keeps his true followers close and safe. That'd be the smart thing to do. 

I fear I'll be fodder before I even reach adulthood. Do you think I'll live through this war? I don't. 

-  
R.A.B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Damien

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! -Damien.


End file.
